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I realize that I have not yet stated in the blog where exactly I will be going for nine months. Oops! – I hope it can slide this once πŸ˜‰

I will be going to Eswatini, Ethiopia, and Cambodia. I am equally excited for all of them but one thing I especially look forward to is hopefully being alongside refugees in Ethiopia… But honestly whatever the Lord has in store for me to learn and grow through, is what I know will be best, which is what leads me into my next thought.

It has been a bumpy rocky path with some ups and downs. Funds have yet to come in at the pace I would prefer, I have denied and been denied various positions of employment, and I have yet to be the model of success I wish I could be. However, during this time, I have refused to give up. I have been in a constant act of surrender to what God has for me because I know his way is best, even when now the foresight I have is probably the most limited it has ever been.

My pastor once said that part of following Jesus and growing your faith is simply becoming familiar with being uncomfortable, and by all means has the Lord put me out of my comfort zone. In essence, I want to comply with what the lord has in his will for my life: World Race for example. I am called and I want very much to go on the World Race, but I did not think this path would require me to revisit a lot of the habits or attitudes I did not know were hindering my walk with the Lord. To say the least, they were/are barriers that needed to be broken and walls that needed to be destroyed.

As the act of surrender is constant, I am constantly surrendering my thoughts, desires, actions, and everything to make sure my heart stays in the lords hands. Even when allowing the barriers to be broken is uncomfortable; even when I am vulnerable because the walls have come down… Even when it hurts, I will continue to walk in the light of surrender because I know that the Lords ways are best, and I know he is faithful to his word, so faithful will I be also.

 

 

Even when the fight seems lost  …

Louder then, I’ll sing your praise 

Lord, my heart burns only for you

You are all, you are all I want

And my soul waits only for you

And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing your praise

– Excerpt from Hillsong UNITED’s

“Even When It Hurts”

 

 

2 responses to “Even When I’d Rather Not”

  1. You are on a great journey. The most precious gift anyone can give God is a completely surrendered life. It is saying to God β€œHere I am, send me!”

  2. I heard once this quote that if fitting here. ” Lord where you lead me I will follow. What you feed me I will swallow.” He will fulfill you dreams and desires if it is in his plans.